When the book is closed...

This morning I woke up, had a shower, had breakfast, brushed my teeth, had a coffee, going around the apartment and not talking to anyone. I don't talk in the morning, I just don't. I don't like people talking in the morning; I don't like when someone is singing in the morning, when someone turns TV on or any kind of loud noise. I just like my cup of coffee, my breakfast and to stroll around the apartment. This morning she opened her eyes and said with her dreamy voice "Mari, are you leaving?". Yes, I heard this sentence loads of times in last 9 months and this morning it burned me like fire of hell and one of those wet things coming from your eyes, people call them tears... but it was dark in the room so she didn't saw them. "Yes, in 10 minutes". When I was leaving Surabaya I was so happy even I left her alone there because I knew I will see her in couple of weeks but now it was different. I don't know when life is going to take me her way or take her my way. It is hard, loosing a best friend, companion, comrade, silly little you, your copy in small format, little sister. Yes, she is going to be around somewhere in this world but now it is hard to say goodbye now and loose that little smile. One of the best things in that ridiculous University was meeting her, just in front of the gate, saying Buongiorno, traveling around Indonesia with her, gossiping about Indonesian girls and fashion style, exploring places, driving around on a motorbike, chatting long hours, trying to get some things in that tick scull of hers, smiling, laughing our asses off, dancing the night away, gossiping some more about all the things that came to our minds, long talks about the food, half-successful cooking of Serbian and Italian food, endless discussions, hours of beach walking, rafting kicking each other asses all the time, making jokes about everything and everybody, laughing my ass off when she starts explaining the hilarious perspective of Indonesian life and when she start cursing in Serbian... Oh, she is talented with that, she can curse like devil himself, in Serbian of course :)


She knows when I don't want to talk, when I'm sleepy, when I want to party, when I want to cry... She is my little copy, mini me, little sister I always wanted to have.

I know, I will see her again, this world is too small to keep us apart but the book is closing its pages and right now I'm writing the last lines in it. I hope one day I will open another book and have few more months with Sonia Portanova because hours and days are just not enough...


Ti amo stupida! :)