One of my fabulous hosts from Mataram, Lombok got married a month ago and she wrote a blog post which is just a perfect continuance of my "This is Indonesia" blog posts. She is Indonesian with a little bit different way of thinking and immediately she has issues like this.
Thank you Safie for sharing this with me.
Here it goes:
Its just for friends Free time :
I cant believe it..im now Married for just 1 month and 14 days..and the question about am i or am i not already getting pregnant is almost as many as the days i've been married.even for an introverted person like me who doesnt have many friends. well,,im trying to answer that question casually at the beginning but slowly i become very unpatient just to write about my preference bout this certain matter.
indeed i do realy appreciate those who immediately wants kid,,i feel happy for them.And this is not about correcting anyone's choice.but just to remind us that it called choice because its more than one available to choose.And not a particular one is better or worse.its really depends to our preparedness and our vision in life.
Lets being straight forward here ( I hope im not harm anyone's feeling afterall)...
# About having Kid or being Pregnant (udah Isi belum?) :
I won't have kid for now nor in immediate years,Solely because im not ready become a parent and still don’t want it .
# Why (Loh kok gitu..?) :
Because my brain and my heart says so. We feel(me and him) we’re still too young in experiences of life for parenting role (become a parent) just like what our idyllic vision. We want to be really ready for parenting..We need Enough wisdom, enough settlement in life (certain home and financial priority) and Piles (and much more piles) of story we can tell to our kid about places we've been and adventure we’ve been through. No Offense,,its just us..we don’t push any other couples to do so..;)
# So How come u married so soon if u don’t want any kid yet ?
Haha,,Actually married and have kid is two different things. I married because I love someone, I want to be with him day and night, and planning to living life together . having kid is the next thing. Its important but its not crucial this time. And honestly,,im not feel bad bout delaying the need of children . its better later but ready than just Take it for granted.
thats the way I love my children-to be. It perhaps like many other said that Children is the most beautiful gift God ever sent to married couple.well I want my gift when I really deserve it.InsyaAllah =)
# Don’t u afraid delaying it making it hard for later when u want it? (another typical question and believes)
Hahaha (again),,do we live in “medieval” age..? its Allah decide everything.and there is no empiric study about the corelation of this believe anyway.and there are ways of contraception that are preety save for us to choose. not to mention mechanical one.
# So when? (just if u really wanna know)
Several years from now,,4 or 5 maybe. But its not a dead lock..it maybe change depend on many aspect of our life.
# Oowh dude,,,that’s too long,,(Ya ampuun lama bangeet..) :
Well,,Im Sorry I disappointing U then,, =p i think u need some other recreation in life than just hoping other people to do what they dont want to do yet.=P =p
This writing is just Intermezzo and no coldheart when I write it. Only an alternative when people are asking me again bout pregnancy So I can just say,,”Guys,, just f*ck*ng check my Facebook Note”=D
p.s: This note also for those my friends whom hasn’t been sent the “gift” from God : He must n’t have a particular but beautiful plan for each of us,,just hush the bug with old sweep.
they deserve just that.
And thanks for Ninong who has inspired me to actually write this kind of stuff.
Thank you Safie for sharing this with me.
Here it goes:
Its just for friends Free time :
I cant believe it..im now Married for just 1 month and 14 days..and the question about am i or am i not already getting pregnant is almost as many as the days i've been married.even for an introverted person like me who doesnt have many friends. well,,im trying to answer that question casually at the beginning but slowly i become very unpatient just to write about my preference bout this certain matter.
indeed i do realy appreciate those who immediately wants kid,,i feel happy for them.And this is not about correcting anyone's choice.but just to remind us that it called choice because its more than one available to choose.And not a particular one is better or worse.its really depends to our preparedness and our vision in life.
Lets being straight forward here ( I hope im not harm anyone's feeling afterall)...
# About having Kid or being Pregnant (udah Isi belum?) :
I won't have kid for now nor in immediate years,Solely because im not ready become a parent and still don’t want it .
# Why (Loh kok gitu..?) :
Because my brain and my heart says so. We feel(me and him) we’re still too young in experiences of life for parenting role (become a parent) just like what our idyllic vision. We want to be really ready for parenting..We need Enough wisdom, enough settlement in life (certain home and financial priority) and Piles (and much more piles) of story we can tell to our kid about places we've been and adventure we’ve been through. No Offense,,its just us..we don’t push any other couples to do so..;)
# So How come u married so soon if u don’t want any kid yet ?
Haha,,Actually married and have kid is two different things. I married because I love someone, I want to be with him day and night, and planning to living life together . having kid is the next thing. Its important but its not crucial this time. And honestly,,im not feel bad bout delaying the need of children . its better later but ready than just Take it for granted.
thats the way I love my children-to be. It perhaps like many other said that Children is the most beautiful gift God ever sent to married couple.well I want my gift when I really deserve it.InsyaAllah =)
# Don’t u afraid delaying it making it hard for later when u want it? (another typical question and believes)
Hahaha (again),,do we live in “medieval” age..? its Allah decide everything.and there is no empiric study about the corelation of this believe anyway.and there are ways of contraception that are preety save for us to choose. not to mention mechanical one.
# So when? (just if u really wanna know)
Several years from now,,4 or 5 maybe. But its not a dead lock..it maybe change depend on many aspect of our life.
# Oowh dude,,,that’s too long,,(Ya ampuun lama bangeet..) :
Well,,Im Sorry I disappointing U then,, =p i think u need some other recreation in life than just hoping other people to do what they dont want to do yet.=P =p
This writing is just Intermezzo and no coldheart when I write it. Only an alternative when people are asking me again bout pregnancy So I can just say,,”Guys,, just f*ck*ng check my Facebook Note”=D
p.s: This note also for those my friends whom hasn’t been sent the “gift” from God : He must n’t have a particular but beautiful plan for each of us,,just hush the bug with old sweep.
they deserve just that.
And thanks for Ninong who has inspired me to actually write this kind of stuff.
3 comments:
Draga Marina, ovo je izvanredno! Kada sada saberem, mnogo sam gluposti uradila u nevereme u svom životu. Sve je moglo biti drugačije, planirano i onda kada bi bilo i mnogo lepše i mnogo lakše. Ako ništa drugo, zrelije prihvaćeno i opuštenije urađeno. No, valjda je tako moralo biti. Iskreno se nadam da ćete vi, mlađe generacije, uspeti da, prvo u sebi, neke stvari promenite, u sopstvenu korist.
Neke se godine i vreme ne mogu vratiti. Proživite ih bar lakše, što ne znači da će obavezno biti i lepše!
Možda ću ovu priču parafrazirati i za Eliksir. Poučna je i korisna.
Čuvaj se. Božana
vrlo jednostavni i normalni odgovori na dosadna pitanja.... mora da je strašno živeti negde gde te stalno pitaju takve gluposti (mislim i na ovaj blog i ona one tvoje prethodne), mada ponekad mi se čini da je slično i kod nas u manjim sredinama... pozdrav iz NS! (a.k.a. veće sredine)
why not...
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