Saturday, April 23, 2011

moz' se jebete sami :)

Ma ne ide to tako, ne može, ne slaže se to nikako u mojoj glavi, posle horizontalno-dahćućeg vežbanja zvanog sex nema više šta da se priča, sve ostaje po strani, sve se promeni i više ništa ne ostaje isto. Nastane neka nelagoda sa obe strane, više ne pričamo otvoreno o svemu i više ne govorimo jedni drugima kad imamo sudare, kakvu smo zgodnu ribu ili tipa videli sinoć u gradu pretrnemo kad sedimo negde na nekom sudaru i naš tzv. najbolji drugar prođe ulicom i vidi nas. Ne možemo biti najbolji prijatelji, možemo biti poznanici, neko kome ću reći „zdravo“ u prolazu, nekad se naći u istom društvu sa njim, popiti, proćaskati i kako god okreneš, opet ćemo završiti u krevetu, što nije mnogo loša stvar ali sa najboljim drugarima, to se jednostavno ne radi.

Jednom davno jedan od mojih, sada najboljih drugara, je u pijanstvu krenuo da me ljubi i ja sam ga odgurnula, posle toga mi je bilo žao, mislila sam da sam trebala da nastavim ali danas, ne bi menjala naše prijateljstvo za milion poljubaca te noći.

Uvek sam bila pobornik muško-ženskih prijateljstava, uvek sam imala više drugara nego drugarica i uvek mi je bilo prijatnije u muškom društvu. Moji drugari su uvek mene posmatrali kao sestru i ja njih kao braću. Spavali smo u istom krevetu, jeli iz istog tanjira, šetali se u donjem vešu jedni ispred drugih, raspravljali o muško-ženskim odnosima danima, pričali o seksu, putovali zajedno, smejali se, bili pijani hiljadu puta, treznili se, hajkali po ko zna kakvim šumama, kafanama, brdima, kolibama, gradovima, državama... da, ti ljudi su mi još uvek prijatelji, oni pravi, neiskvareni, oni koji će mi uvek reći sve šta ne valja i sve što valja, oni koji će biti brutalno iskreni čak i kad ja to ne želim. Ne znam koliko noći sam prespavala u Slobinom ili Jovanovom krevetu, koliko puta sam lutala okolo sa Vladom Kuvarem (novoproglašenim narodnim herojom) i delila krevet sa njim (Eeeeeee koliko žena to priželjkuje J). Benkić je uvek bio tu kad mi je trebao smeštaj u Beogradu. Jedino što su od mene dobili je koleno u bubrege i lakat u bradu. Dobro, ponekad doručak-ručak zavisi kad ustanemo. To su ti ljudi koji pošalju mail ili porukicu skoro svakog dana da mi kažu šta ima novo i da im nedostajem dok sam ovde negde daleko... To su ona braća koju sam oduvek želela, pametni, nasmejani, zajebanti... Ne kažem da moja braća, koliko ih imam okolo nisu takvi, samo nisam toliko bliska sa njima.

I onda dodžem u Kuala Lumpur da lumpujem jel da... i pojavi se tu jedan mali slatki nasmejani, a ja padam na lep osmeh... doduše igrom slučaja, poznajemo se odavno i kao drugari smo i oćeš džavola... I on bi sad da mi budemo najbolji drugari. Vidi, cico, taj film još nisi gled’o niti ćeš ga gledati. Prošle nedelje se dogovorimo da idemo zajedno na neku žurkicu i on me ispali u zadnjem trenu kao mora da radi. Ja odem kući, on ode na žurku. U petak treba da idemo na koncert, on ne odgovara na poruke ceo dan. Ja odem na koncert sa drugarom, sretnem njega, on jadan sav se pogubio, kad pored njega neka, tek punoletna Švabica (upecana u već spomenutu sredu). Ja razmišljam, da je Jovan tu, ili bilo ko od navedenih, razgovor bi tekao ovako „Marina, slušaj, znaš, ovaj, mislim, Švabica, ovo ono“, „Jasno sine, odoh ja sa Acketom/Francijem/Panonskim/Marijom/Jelenom/... u život a spavam di stignem kod već navedenih ljudi, dolazim kući kad mi pošalješ poruku“. Tako funkcionišu najbolji drugari i sa njima se ne ulazi u horizontalno-dahćuće odnose zvane „krešemo se dvaput dnevno ali smo još uvek najbolji drugari“. Jebo ti taj film. Nit je romantika, nit je erotka a posle nastane drama, a ko još voli drame. I onda ne bude ništa, u retkim slučajevima bude to bajka sa srećnim krajem ali za taj mali procenat verovatnoće ne bi rizikovala ovo sve sto sada imam.

Eto, ako ste se kojim slučajem nadali da ćemo se ikad upuštati u horizontalno-dahćuće odnose, mož se jebete sami

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

bem ti nauku... :D

I konacno posle dve nedelje moljakanja i isterivanja pravde, dobila sam internet na poslu sa kojim manje vise ne mogu mnogo toga da uradim s obzirom da nemam ni access, ni pristup sherovanim diskovima koji zaposleni koriste, ni ERP-u ni gomili stvari koje bi mi mnogo koristile da mogu svoj posao lepo da obavljam. Nije mi lose ovde, zveram okolo, gledam sta rade, hvatam im greske, zveram, zezam, idem kuci na vreme za razliku od ostatka moje kancelarije. Moj posao je uglavnom taj da ja njuskam okolo i da gledam kako mogu da unapredim izvestavanje tima koji posao za 8 ljudi radi sa 3 clana od kojih jedan odlazi 1. maja. Prosle nedelje sam ostajala duze danima zato sto su oni radili neka silna proveravanja za najbitniji izvestaj a opet to im je bila 3 noc u redu da su samo po par sati odspavali pa je normalno da su najbanalnije sitnice propustali. S obzirom da ja gomilu toga ovde ne razumem, moja podpitanja su se pokazala poprilicno korisnim da bi se posao sto lakse odradio.
Ukoliko uskoro ne uletim u Sharepoint vode odlucila sam da se okrenem excel-u i accessu i mozda nekim drugim slicnim proizvodima i da prodajem sebe kao strucnjaka za to s obzirom da sam shvatila da ovde analiticari mnogo toga rade rucno posto nikad nisu koristili funkciju IF i ne znaju kako se ista koristi. Doduse ne bi mi to dugo bilo zanimljivo... kada bi prostudirala sve funkcije i sva izvestavanja opet bi ostala na istom, bila bi strucnjak za excel i izvestavanje ali to bi me samo dublje guralo u finansijske vode u kojima ne zelim da plivam. Nema ovde mnogo logickog razmisljanja, sve rade kako ih je neko tamo naucio i sve se radi po nekom ustaljenom rasporedu, svako zasto ima svoje zato ali kao u svakom prljavom kapitalizmu ima i ono "zasto to nije uradjeno juce?". Mene su doveli ovde da ove jadne robote naucim logickom razmisljanju.
Svom srecom juce sam imala sastanak sa jednim od sefova koji se lepo smeska i on je covek shvatio moje prave kvalitete i sad hoce da me prebaci u IT da se zanimam neki mnogo korisnijim stvarima sto sam ja oberucke prihvatila. Anyhow, sutra imam sastanak sa glavnokomandujucim i treba da mu iznesem moje obzervacije u poslednjih mesec dana i da vidimo kako cemo to da resimo. Ja treba da mu kazem kako su njegovi zaposleni glupi i pretvoreni u robote i da zbog toga nisu efektivni. Ne, nisu glupi samo ne razmisljaju svojom glavom a ja ne mogu i necu da ih ucim logici stvari. Mogu da provedem jos jedan mesec sa njima, da gledam kako rade izvestaje i da im dajem predloge kako to moze lakse da se uradi... samo se plasim da to ne bude uzaludno, da kad odem, oni da se vrate na staro... 

Thursday, April 7, 2011

Tax fuck up

When I was just a little girl, I asked my mother, what will I be...

and for sure she told me I will not be tax officer or doing the stupid tax calculations. She told me that is the most fucked up job ever and when you calculate tax you have to do it in 4 decimals, if not, you can get to jail for tax screw ups. I asked her what decimals are and that was a beginning of the life of future mathematician, even my mother didn't want that to be a future option for her sweet little girl. Approximately 15 years later I was packing my bags and going to Novi Sad to take my entry exam for math faculty and she said... Que sera, sera, whatever will be, will be... Oh no, my mother was never that singing type. She was always whistling some good old melodies like "Don't worry be happy" or "Mr. Taliman, tali mi banana" or just singing some beautiful songs from Vojvodina. Her voice was not made for her to be opera singer but for me, she was singing like an angel.

When I was arranging this job I told them that I was talking about brut salary and I really don't give much fuck about taxes that needs to be paid. Of course, like every employer they said "yes, yes, of course". When I got my contract the sentence about the taxes was completely twisted and of course I translated it the way I wanted and didn't ask about the real meaning of the sentence (my fault) and right now I'm probably going to get fucked up with no more no less than 26% of tax for foreigners for first 6 months. If I leave the company for 6 months than I have to pay the same tax all over again for 6 months and so on. Anyhow, I didn't quite understand Miss Joey with 4 Chinese last names (sounding like a small pot falling from the mountain) but I will see what she was talking about when I get my salary. Anyhow... not good for my savings account. I will have enough money for first 6 months to live and enjoy Malaysia but not sure I will save a lot of money, I will probably save enough to head home for vacation but that is all. After 6 months tax is only 2 or 3% which is fucking awesome but I need to wait until end of September for that. Someone told me that I can get tax refund after 6 months... anyhow 10 different people are telling me 10 different stories. Probably the best thing is to head to the website of tax office of Malaysia and read all about it... but I'm not sure if I will understand it. :)

Yeah... life is a bitch sometimes... and I still don't understand taxes and my mom was right telling me not to study that shit.

Well, what tha hell...





Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Landing to Kuala Lumpur

Finally I started working. Well no, that is not the most exciting part of my life in Kuala Lumpur and after months of doing nothing I can tell you that is quite difficult and until I don’t get into the movements of the company, I will not have too much work to do. Getting internet access in my company is quite hard and complicated and I have been questioned for at least 3 times why do I need internet access. Fuck it, again I started working in finances and there are loads of terms and things I don’t understand and guys that I’m working with are staying in the office for ages every day and me, torturing them to explain to me what is simple cut off or benefit claim would be just me being lazy. Until I get all of those definitions, I will just look around like a sheep and think what to do and how to do it. After clicking on loads of websites and trying to get trough I realized that only website working is google and all of its applications and blogger is one of them so I can easily access my blog and write as much as I want since I came to the company, the company itself is making my job quite difficult so i decided not to do it, but to wait for "The Man" to get back from London and get things straight.


Anyhow, I fucking love this city, with beaming positive energy all around and such a big mixture of nations and people this is the city where every corner has something new. People who are here for longer tell me that it gets boring after a while but there is also rest of the Malaysia and SE Asia to be explored once when and if I get to that level. The fact that KL is home to AirAsia says it all.


It was quite difficult to find an apartment but I managed that too with a help of some people that I knew from earlier and some new people who came to my life and became instant angels. The thing is that when you come to new city and you don't know anything and don't know where to go, people who will help you are usually people who were in the same situation few years back. Jelena met Joice in the office and that girl spend loads of her free time to help us out and she used her perfect bargain skills and got us quite cheap place and we don't have to sign any contract. For beginning the flat is quite good but probably we will move as soon as we find something nicer and cheaper... :)


When I arrived I stayed for couple of days with Mun, an old friend from CS and then I moved to Borjan's place for 2 weeks until Jelena and I managed to find a place on our own. Staying with Borjan at one point was chaotic since there was 8 of us in the flat and having a tight situation between him and his ex girlfriend who is still living there, some moments were not so nice but still, I would like to have a chance to do something for Borjan, to show him how much I'm grateful. Words aren't enough. Unfortunately I can't cook sarma for him since there is no sour cabage even if I lived in desperate hope there is.

for sure the story will be continued

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Do you read books?

Sorry for not writing for a long time, was quite busy with moving to Kuala Lumpur and now when I have some free time would like to continue my "This is Indonesia" writings. Back in 2005 I was in Morocco and I was teaching English to the children in Rabat. It was quite nice experience and I really loved it. I loved Morocco too and I would always go back there if someone would ask me to. Teaching children who are actually in love with you is really easy. Every day I found some small gift on my desk or just a drawing on the blackboard or just a compliment that I look beautiful that morning even in the morning I look like flood tossed me out. When I asked my students do they read books and what kind of books do they read I just got this awkward silence in my class. Those children were not reading books, they didn't even have obligatory school literature. When I was visiting people's houses only thing I saw was The Holy book of Quran and maybe some dictionary if the children are learning English or French. The similar thing I found in Indonesia. Actually, I found some books in people's houses but most of them were those American soap books like "What to do when he leaves you!", "The confession of shopaholics" and things like that. Never found more serious literature or anything that I could read. At our university people were sitting at the library and chatting or using the wireless but never used the books around them. Some parts of the library had heavy dust on the shelf.
I met this really nice math teacher in my university and she asked me really nicely if I would like to teach her class on Monday's. They were 3rd semester math students and I got ready to teach them really heavy stuff since my 3rd semester was full of Double and Triple Integrals, Linear Algebra, XML programming, Financial analysis and all other things that I had headache for a long time after. When I got a PowerPoint presentation of the things I need to teach I was stunned. I was teaching them regular trigonometrically transformation with integrals, the things that Serbian students are learning on the last year of high school. I asked around and Indonesians also have 12 years of primary and high school education and I still wonder, what tha hell are they doing for those 12 years if they are learning basic stuff at the university?!? I left that classroom completely disappointed since there were only 2 or 3 students talking to me and interacting and when I asked them about the books only one girl told me that she likes to read and that she read even Ana Karenina by Tolstoy. Then I asked her if she has a computer and she said that she doesn't. That made sense.
The students from other SE Asia countries are coming to Indonesia to study since the educational system is better than in other countries. I really don't believe that is true, especially not on my Uni...
will be continued... :)

Friday, March 11, 2011

This is Indonesia part 3 a.k.a. Do you have blackberry messenger?

When we are talking about addictions before I came to Indonesia I knew about drug addicts, alcohol addicts, computer addicts and maybe few more but Indonesia and people told me, the whole SE Asia has this telephone addiction problem. Everybody I know has at least 2 and sometimes 3 phones and one of them is blackberry or blueberry or strawberry or... whatever is it called. Before they even say hello, how are you, what is your name they will ask your phone number and after having your phone number they will ask you if you have blackberry messenger. That messenger is the cheapest way of non-stop chatting and Indonesians are holding their blackberry devices all the time and they are typing all the time. When I say all the time, I really mean it. Not only blackberry, but all types of phones. They are just typing and typing.
Millions of messages are going around Indonesia every day and even when they go out together they will look at their phones, they will chat or send messages and they rarely talk to each other. Sometimes I ask myself what is the purpose of leaving the house when you can do that from your bed too. You don't need to go out.
Few nights ago Sonia and I spend some time in Pakuwon food Festival and we were looking at the couple, a guy and a girl sitting across each other, eating and not putting a single look at each other but constantly looking at their phones. After 30 minutes we got tired of looking at them but they still didn't got bored looking at their phones. Maybe they were chatting to each other. :)
When you don't reply to a message to Indonesian person you will get another message after 3 or 4 minutes asking "Why you didn't reply to my message?" or "Did you get my message?". Since they are constantly holding their phones, you should do that too and you should answer their message immediately. One of the guys I worked with in English school send me a message at 7AM. As a normal European person who doesn't have any reason to get up before 9AM I just ignored the message and continued sleeping. After 4 minutes I got one of those "Why you didn't reply to my message?". Of course that one got me completely awake so I decided to get up and have a shower and start working on my hostels.st projects. When I came back from the shower my phone was ringing off the hook and it was him. I answered with my sleepy voice and told him that I sleep. Well, basically he was going on my nerves and I haven't had much to talk to him so I just wanted to get him off. When I told him that I was sleeping he continued talking, wasn't really aware of the thing that he should quit the call and maybe call later when bule gets up. So I hanged up. So he called again. I switched off my phone. After that I gave him really hard time in the school and gave him quite a lesson about what he should do if someone tells him that he/she is sleeping.
Right now almost all the phones have cameras on them and that gives Indonesians a perfect way to bring up their other passion: taking photos, of them of course. They will take their photo anytime, anywhere and they will immediately put it on Facebook. And, of course, everybody wants to have a photo with bule. In the middle of the street, on the beach, in shopping mall, in the toilet of shopping mall, in restaurant, at university... anywhere. Sometimes I see people taking pictures of me from the distance and they think I didn't notice. I think at least 1000 people asked me to take photo with me. Sonia is more popular, she had around 10.000 requests. :D Once I asked money from a guy who took photo of me while I was sitting in warung and eating. I went to him and asked 50.000Rp for a photo of me and he got completely lost. He said that he doesn't have that much money so I told him to delete photos and the poor man did. :D
Surely there is no need to tell you about the gadgets, ipods, ipads, iphones, mp3 players, laptops and all other gadgets they are always carrying around with them. Absolutely technology addicted :)

Thursday, March 10, 2011

Bizarre tours of Muhammediyah University

This morning Sonia and me were going around our kos and thinking to go or not to go to our university. It was quite a glorious morning for not doing anything. Suddenly Sonia got a sms from Aina, the girl who is studying with us and told us that they are waiting for us at university and Mr. Iddris is taking us somewhere out. So, usually when he is taking us somewhere we get free lunch so we packed really fast and went off. When we got to the university Mr. Iddris told us that we are going to have lesson today in his car and in the hospital since we probably never visited Indonesian hospital. Why would we want to go to a hospital? I hate hospitals since my mom was in them for 1.5 years and last time when I was in one I had really bad stomach pain and all I wanted to do is to puke my heart out when I left it. So I told him that I hate hospitals and I really don’t want to go but since he thinks that everything should be joke he was pushing it and asking from me to go. Anyhow, I don’t find anything interesting about hospitals and I would rather stay at home or university. At the end I accepted to go but I said that I would wait somewhere in the lobby. Luckily the lobby of this hospital was like 5 star hotel so I was feeling ok. When we came to Indonesia, University promised all kinds of tours and visits to all kind of places in Surabaya but the only thing what university provided for us was a rafting in Probolingo which was absolutely amazing and visit to the international hospital in which no one speaks English so I just gave up from looking for a gynecologist. The thing is that people are quite insensitive here and when you tell them that you don’t want something and by the look of your face anyone in clear mind would stop asking stupid questions but no, Indonesians continue asking stupid questions and they want to know everything. We had a lesson with Miss Linda (they like to put Miss, Mr, Mrs in front of their names) and somehow I told her that I don’t have parents and she started asking loads of really stupid questions and she made me cry at the end and that even didn’t stop her continuing. I had to take my things and leave the class in order for her to stop. Mr. Idriss also think that everything is a joke and that we can joke around every single thing we say. Yes, I love to joke around about almost everything but when someone touches what is the hardest for me and you can see it in my face, you should stop. The thing is that they don’t see it.
Not just people in university but most of people I met are completely insensitive and they can’t read people’s feelings from their faces. They don’t give much attention to face expressions so they can rarely tell when I’m joking around or when I’m serious. Sometimes when I start kidding around with them they answer me completely serious because they can’t see from my face that I’m making a joke. I have to tell them and the most stupid thing ever is that then they start laughing. When you need to explain someone that you are joking that is not funny anymore.
Well, we didn’t get free lunch since Mr. Idriss wanted donuts from Dunkin Donuts, we didn’t see anything new since Sonia spends a lot of time in hospitals and, of course, like always, we didn’t have any lessons.