Jedan vrlo prijateljski mail ambasadi Republike Indonezije u Beogradu

Inspirisan tekstom Ogledalo naše pismenosti na sajtu www.prekoramena.com

Dragi Gospodine Ambasadore,

Verujem da je avgust mesec ove 2011-te bio prezauzet za Vas i Vaše službenike i hvala Vam puno na pozivnicama ali ja trenutno živim u Maleziji i nisam mogla da prisustvujem aktivnostima u Vašoj predivnoj ambasadi. Da sam, kojim slučajem bila u Beogradu, verovatno bi se pridružila. Vi, kao visoki zvaničnik jedne države, verujem da razumete šta je to umetnost komunikacije i verujem da, ukoliko niste do sad, vrlo brzo ćete početi da pričate srpski jezik. Upravo zbog toga Vam pišem ovaj mail, zbog pravopisa i pismene komunikacije između službenika Vaše ambasade i spoljnjeg sveta.

Pozivnice za aktivnosti u avgustu su bile brojne ali svaka rečenica u svakom mail-u i u svakoj pozivnici me je terala u plač. Toliku količinu gramatičkih grešaka i nepravilnosti možete da vidite samo kod deteta koje je tek naučilo da piše u prvom razredu osnovne škole. Vaša službenica, Suzana Orlić koja je slala mailove je očigledno nepismena ili je tih dana dolazila na posao sa Alchajmerovom bolešću u delu mozga za gramatiku i pravopis srpskog jezika. Iskreno se nadam da ona nije osoba za komunikaciju sa visokim zvaničnicima pošto bi to bio odraz nepismenosti i opšte nekulture pa samim tim i nepoštovanja prema državi u kojoj ste zvaničnik. Srpski jezik je jedna komplikovana lingvistička prepreka za strance u našoj državi ali za lokalce, to ne bi trebalo da predstavlja problem pošto se on, kao obavezan predmet izučava u školama 12 godina svakog dana.

Posle određenog vremena svako od nas počne da pravi gramatičke greške i svako od nas kaže ponekad nešto što je van svake pameti u gramatici srpskog jezika ali gospođica Orlić je čist primer opšte nepismenost i želela bih da izradzim duboko žaljenje Vama jer jedna takva osoba ima posao u Vašoj ambasadi a veliki broj ljudi sa diplomama filološkog fakulteta nema posao. 

Evo prostog primera jedne pozivnice od gospođice Orlić koja pored gramatičkih grešaka i grešaka u kucanju uporno izbegava korišćenje specijalnih znakova š,đ,ž,č i ć.

Postovani,

Ovim putem vam u prilogu dostavljamo pozivnicu.

U nadi dace te se odazvati pozivu, unapred vam se srdacno zahvaljujemo

Za:

G-din, G-dja, G-djica

…………………………….

POZIVNICA

Postovani,

Povodom obelezavanja 66 godisnejice nezavisnosti Republike Indonezije ”HUT –RI  Ke -66”, sa temom ”U duhu prokalmacije 17 avgust 1945,  povecajmo svest zivota u raznovrsnosti za ojaceanje jedinstva Republike Indonezije, uspeh naseg inonezanskog rukovodstva u okviru foruma ASEAN za ojacanje solidarnosti ASEAN”, s postovanjem pozivamo sve sluzbenike ambasade Republike Indonezije u Beogradu i njihove porodice, sve drzavljane Republike Indonezije i njihove porodice, clanove drustava prijateljstava Srbija i Indonezija ”Nusantara” i svrsene studente programa Dharmasiswa da prisustuvuju svecanoj cermoniji koja ce se odrzati:

Dana/Datum                : Sreda, 17 avgusta 2011

Vreme                         : 08.00 casova (Podizanje zastave)

                                      18.00 casova (Spustanje zastave)

Mesto                          : Dvoriste rezidencije ambasade Republike Inonezije u Beogradu

                          Ul. Bulevar Kneza Aleksandra Karadjordjevica 18, Beograd

Ujedono vas molimo za vase prisustvo 15 minuta pre pocetka svecane ceremonije.

U nadi da cete se odazvati pozivu, srdacno vam se zahvaljujemo.

Beograd, 11 avgust 2011

U ime predsednika odbora

Obelezavanje 66 godisnjice nezavisnosti Republike Indonezije

Indah Mekawati

Sekretar odbora

Obelezavanje 66 godisnjice nezavisnosti Republike Indonezije

Napomena:

1. Garderoba primerena i uredna

This is Indonesia part 2

Since I haven't finished the story about cultural differences of Indonesia, I probably never will, but let me just try to continue.
It is quite hard to explain all the things that make me shocked and still can't believe that they are doing some things. I didn't expect too much of a shock when I landed to Indonesia since I already lived in Ukraine, Morocco and Middle East so I understand the cultural differences and I'm used to accept them. The problem with Indonesians is that they want too much to be like white people, Australians, Americans or Europeans. They are looking at Australian tourists getting drunk in Bali so they do it too. They look how white we are so they want it to and all the time Sonia and I are getting million of compliments that we are so beautiful because we are white. All they talk about is beauty and all the things girl wants in this country to be beautiful and popular and, of course, white.
When we talk about beauty someone told Indonesian girls that they look good with lenses in color so almost all the girls are wearing lenses instead of glasses and they even wear color lenses when they don't need to wear them for their eye sight. There are few of shades of blue color and all of them look completely unnatural and I get really scared looking at those girls. Green ones are also scary. Brown is ok, grey are terrible but nothing can beat blue. Once I went to the customer service of a mobile phone provider to ask around for the mobile internet and there was a girl working in customer service with eyes like alien and I couldn't even look at her but she was the only one speaking English and able to talk to me.
Now there is competition to be a model of Lens Company and one of my friends asked me to vote for his friend and I couldn't even look at the photo, definitely not vote.
Of course there is number of girls in Europe wearing too much makeup and I would highlight that Indonesian girls are not wearing make up, at least not until the day of their wedding, then they put it too much but that is old way of putting make up and traditional clothing and make up. Can be quite interesting though.
Since they are trying to be as beautiful as they can be they are always taking photos of them. Anywhere, anyhow, anytime. The location is not really important; anyhow you will see only them on the photo, not the location where they were. if there is album in FB from an Indonesian person which is called "Bali" you will see just photos of people who were there goofing around, jumping on Kuta beach, having close up photos, putting their feet in the water, running away from the waves... Actually it will be quite difficult to see that it is Kuta beach if they don't tell you. One of our friends started taking photos of her while we were in the toilet of a club ???!!! And loads of my Indonesian friends have photos of them on their FB profiles, actually photo albums of them taking pictures of themselves, of course, with puffed lips and stupid faces.
When we are already talking about Bali let me tell you that during the day you will rarely see an Indonesian person on the beach. Usually that would be some guys staring at bule girls and sitting completely dressed. When you see guys in Bali sitting at the beach and staring at the girls you can automatically tell that they are not from Bali. Bali guys got used to the tourists but now there is more and more Javanese people coming to Bali to work or just to stare. :D
Indonesians go to the beach when the sun goes down and they swim when the sun goes down... the reason is very simple, they hate sun and they don't want to be tanned. Even then they put enormous amounts of sun block.
Moonlight protection maybe? :D
Most of them don't know how to swim so they just dip in even if they are living surrounded by sea. So I had a priviledge to teach my wonderful host from Mataram, Trisha, how to swim and I might say that she is a good student.
When I'm talking about cultural differences I'm not saying that all of Indonesians are like that, there are number of exceptions and they will be put on this blog when their time comes... :)

oh yes... will be continued

:D

Picture is owned by Arya Damar Sp, a friend of Miud Photograph who is my friend... so... does she looks all natural or what? :D

All bule fuck around right?

When I came to Indonesia I heard this word which was really funny for me and it is a word that Indonesians use for white people. The word "bule" in my language represents a Muslim girl which is completely covered up and here it is quite opposite. Right now we like to use this word when we joke around something since it is well known that all bule in Indonesia have good jobs, they are well paid, live in rich parts of the city, have loads of money which they are spending around and, lately, I realized that bule have this thing that they are fucking around with everybody. Not only once I was deeply offended by Indonesian people that I met here and there with stupid questions and stupid sentences that actually showed that, since I'm bule, that automatically means that I go around and fuck with everybody.
Apparently, Indonesians don't have sex before marriage, that is strictly forbidden by religion (both Muslim and Christian) and their beliefs and they like to put it out front. When I asked a girl aged 31 which is not married is she a virgin her face went dark red, she got completely confused, her eyes went out of her head and she replied "How can you ask me something like that?!?" When a guy, also aged 31 was telling someone I know about his first sexual experience he was also blushing, speaking with the lowest voice possible and told that person to swear not to tell anyone.
My university is completely Muslim and all the girls are walking around with scarves, looking at as like we fallen from the sky and being really nice girls... during the day... If I start telling the stories of bule I know about what are those girls doing during the night... Muhammediah University Surabaya would be banished from this world.
When a girl I know came to me to introduce me to a guy who liked me she told me after 30 seconds of my conversation with him "If you want to fuck him just go with him tonight to his place, he has a nice car, he can fuck for 2 hours and he is rich". Oh yes, all bule want rich guys and they fuck with someone the moment they see him. I looked at that girl and I wasn't sure what is she talking about.
Last Saturday we went to this Ice Club, really fancy and expensive place but luckily we didn't pay anything since Emily knew the manager. All of our friends left at 1 but we stayed and danced until club was closing. Just before club started closing I met this Indonesian guy who was really cute so I kissed him few times, told him that I don't want to go with him to his place and continue dancing. Then some bule guy came and started dancing with Sonia and it appeared that he is from Macedonia. I hugged him like he was my brother and almost started crying. So, we arranged to meet the day after and spend some time together since I will have a chance to talk in Serbian. Two of them are living in Sheraton apartments so we decided to use that fact to go for a swimming in Sheraton swimming pool. We had fun with the guys, we swam, had nice afternoon with them, hanged out in their apartment and had dinner in the evening and went home. When we told some of our friends about that, the girl, mentioned above, asked "So you went to sleep in Sheraton with them and then you went to swim" ?!??!? Lately Sonia and I are speaking the same things at the same time so we said "NO" like a choir. When I started talking about Indonesian guy that I kissed I got from a certain person "how can you kiss him if you don't know him?" Well, I don't need a guys CV to kiss him. I felt like kissing him. And then I got one of those fabulous questions "But why you didn't go with him to his place. Maybe he is good fucker" Oh yes, again, all bule fuck around all the time. It was weirder that I didn't go to bed with him than the fact that I kissed him which was also weird.
We also have loads of stupid SMS coming to our addresses and when someone tells that she has a boyfriend and she is not going around and cheats on him that doesn't means a lot to Indonesian. That sounds just the same like you are completely available, since you are bule, and bule are fucking around all the time, right? After you say no for couple of times they just continue offering things like "relationship without love" or sending you messages in the middle of the night telling how desperate they are because you don't want to meet them. If you tell them you want to be a friend and you want to meet as a friend they don't know what that means or they just don't want to know. When you tell them that you are engaged that might give a slightly bigger significance to Indonesian guys, but, anyhow, he is not here, right so they can continue stocking and harassing you. So, lately, we started telling people that we are married since that is the first thing they ask when they meet us and when they ask that we know that they like us. So, basically the only thing that can save you from Indonesians, who want to have sex with bule, since bule are always fucking around right, is to tell them that you are married... but sometimes that doesn't work either.
Oh yes, we had a case of a "friend" who got angry and he is not talking to us for months now since Sonia told him that she has a boyfriend and he thought that he is irresistible.
So, we came to conclusion that it is not polite to kiss around but it is ok to fuck around and bule fuck around all the time, right?
:D

P.S I met a plastic surgeon who does 5-10 hymen closing operation per day and girls from all around Indonesia are coming to him before they get married. One operation is 500-1500€. In Serbia one plastic surgeon is doing that kind of operation 5-10 times per year.
In Europe you can fuck around but at least Europeans are not hypocrite.

Dobre vesti iz domovine ... iliti sta se desilo kad je Marina napustila brod

Posle 2 meseca zajebavanja po Indoneziji, kvalitetnog zajebavanja mogu vam reci, pocela je kisna sezona, grom je spalio, pa nemam nista drugo da radim osim da blogujem... ovi na flakutetu se nisu bas pretrgli da nam drze predavanja, olade nas dok si rekao keks... svaki dan nam turaju nove rasporede u ruke, uce nas kojekakvim glupostim kad i stignu na casove... sto bi moja koleginica Fatma rekla "mars u pizdu materinu svi redom". Da da, Vasa Draga, je odrzala svoj cas lepog ponasanja na srpskom jeziku i svi redom inostrani studenti su to upili ko sundjeri i sad psuju ko kocijasi, ljubi ih Marina. :D Bem li ga, nismo imali sta drugo da radimo pa je Marina uzela kredu u svoje ruke a to obicno ne izadje na dobro.
Elem, s obzirom da smo 2 meseca bili na raspustu ja sam se raspustila po Lomboku, Giliju i Baliju (guglujte jebem vas glupave, nemojte oma da pitate di je to!!) mesec dana i sad mi se ama bas nista ne radi... ali ajde kao nesto moram...
Volem avione vise nego leba da jedem... to sam shvatila odavno ali sad je to doslo do te tacke da mi svaka destinacija za koju treba vise od par sati voznje izgleda kao povoljna prilika da kupim avionsku kartu... ili je samo doslo do toga da sam postala lenja i volem da putujem brzo i komforno... doduse ova zemlja je poprilicno jeftina po tom pitanju... pa ako se moze... zasto da ne? E tako sam ja za 25evara kupila kartu za Lombok i otisla... a ostali nek se jebedu sami... putopise sa destinacija trazite na www.serbiatravelers.org jebe mi se da vam opet piskaram ovdi sta sam radila i di sam se lomatala...
I tako caskam ja sa Oljom, tamo negde u prethodnim blogovima spomenutom mi omiljenom koleginicom, i isprica ona meni par lokalnih traceva znanih kao "sta ima u miloj nam kompaniji?" kad oces djavola... moja draga em mila koleginica... moja nova muza i inspiracija, nasa nova nada i desna ruka gospodina Nikole R. zvanog veliki zli sef je dobila sut kartu... pa kako to moze bit' pitala sam se ja... kad je ona internacionalni strucnjak, neprevazidjena pamet... doduse 6 meseci nije mogla da ukapira neke stvari ali sta sad da se radi. :D
I eto... Marina napusti brod... ne, nikako nece ceo brod da potone... ali jedna daska je otisla, a to uzdrma malkice... samo malkice... :D
No dobro... kad sam napustila onaj brod ukrcala sam se na jos gori brod. Dosla na flakutet kad ono sve devojke nindze, dobro dobro, nisu bas nindze ali sve imaju pokrivene glave. Ceo flakutet muslimanski! Svi do jednog! Prvo su nas metili u neki smestaj di smo svi dobili svrab 3.eg stepena pa su nas onda premestili na bolji smestaj ali sve u cilju da nas drze pod prismotrom. Svakog dana su padala pitanja "gde ste bili?, sta ste radili?, zasto sinoc u 7 niste bili u smestaju?, sa kime ste sinoc izasli?" e onda kad smo mi popizdeli na to zaduzili su dve tajlandjanke koje zive sa nama da nas kontrolisu da bi bilo manje providno. Kad smo krenuli da trazimo sami smestaj, izbio je skandal... kako smo mi nezahvalni i ne svidja nam se ono sto nam oni pruzaju. Posle mnogo frke i svadje i gomile problema koje su nam napravili oladili su kapislu. Sve u svemu predpostavili su da je jedna prekaljena svetska putnica - dete (sram ih bilo) i da oni trebaju da me kontrolisu. Sonja, kao slatka mala italijanka se uvatila moje suknje i krenula da rezi na njih ali jadno dete dobila gastritis od previse stresa i sranja koje su nam pravili. Ja sam zbrisala na Lombok a ona je ostala sama da se bori sa njima danima.
Eto...
2 be continued...